id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
