Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
