Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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