I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
