I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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