it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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