there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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