i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Let's get the cat blown out
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
