No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
