Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
wow bdsm is so cute
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
