hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.