YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard