Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling

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  (724): I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo. (724): That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling http://tfl.nu/z57r
  Replies (23) Good night (2226) Bad night (679)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.

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  (518): Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird. http://tfl.nu/mxsq
  Replies (8) Good night (642) Bad night (2092)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...

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  (609): So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated... http://tfl.nu/17ul
  Replies (22) Good night (664) Bad night (5504)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud

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  (863): just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud http://tfl.nu/54kw
  Replies (11) Good night (4906) Bad night (825)
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  (951): View more from California

  now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.

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  (951): now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria. http://tfl.nu/9jm0
  Replies (29) Good night (666) Bad night (6388)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.

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  (407): I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong. http://tfl.nu/42z4
  Replies (7) Good night (1370) Bad night (2732)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.

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  (720): You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger. http://tfl.nu/3qkv
  Replies (90) Good night (1760) Bad night (12848)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.

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  (715): she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner. http://tfl.nu/8r7t
  Replies (14) Good night (1154) Bad night (2788)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.

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  (507): he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day. http://tfl.nu/m5g5
  Replies (4) Good night (1800) Bad night (529)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man

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  (604): never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man http://tfl.nu/2zew
  Replies (8) Good night (1534) Bad night (440)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  how did operation slutty penguin go?

  (619): View more from California

  pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter

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  (303): how did operation slutty penguin go? (619): pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter http://tfl.nu/uigh
  Replies (6) Good night (2693) Bad night (436)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.

  (1-678): View more from Georgia

  Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle

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  (678): HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve. (1-678): Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle http://tfl.nu/629h
  Replies (4) Good night (423) Bad night (911)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.

  (1-423): View more from Tennessee

  Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.

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  (423): What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there. (1-423): Call it what you want. You fucked a girl. http://tfl.nu/1fty
  Replies (5) Good night (2011) Bad night (771)
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  (341): View more from California

  I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.

  (341): View more from California

  But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade

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  (341): I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room. (341): But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade http://tfl.nu/5zu3
  Replies (13) Good night (789) Bad night (500)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?

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  (586): I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going? http://tfl.nu/v2ci
  Replies (5) Good night (715) Bad night (334)

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