Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?