After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
