come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this