Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): 3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact. http://tfl.nu/7spk
  Replies (20) Good night (2535) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted. http://tfl.nu/g5t8
  Replies (37) Good night (2903) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night http://tfl.nu/gokf
  Replies (33) Good night (3929) Bad night (1192)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls. http://tfl.nu/5u5z
  Replies (23) Good night (989) Bad night (5411)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat. http://tfl.nu/gqde
  Replies (96) Good night (1651) Bad night (7832)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision. http://tfl.nu/lzhl
  Replies (18) Good night (1304) Bad night (3824)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito... http://tfl.nu/yq5b
  Replies (9) Good night (4479) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut http://tfl.nu/7k06
  Replies (40) Good night (5918) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk http://tfl.nu/69zw
  Replies (2) Good night (1870) Bad night (1306)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first http://tfl.nu/7abn
  Replies (6) Good night (1622) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable". http://tfl.nu/w1e1
  Replies (20) Good night (1713) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA http://tfl.nu/dpqi
  Replies (5) Good night (489) Bad night (1178)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  He used a "food city great value" card to cut it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli (267): He used a "food city great value" card to cut it http://tfl.nu/fxwe
  Replies (2) Good night (453) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans. http://tfl.nu/d410
  Replies (4) Good night (962) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control.. http://tfl.nu/zcwi
  Replies (11) Good night (272) Bad night (497)

Randomize