He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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