you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
