you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
