Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
