Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Sober January is a disaster.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
