I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
