This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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