She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
