dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
