How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Be still, my beating vagina.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
