After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize