Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
