return my video game
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
