Kiss
Puke
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she told me i tasted like america
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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