his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
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All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
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You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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