I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
did i just pee glitter
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
