so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
4 words: hood of his car
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
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he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
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I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Sext me about skeletons
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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