My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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