Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Randomize
