just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
there is glitter all over my balls
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
