I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
