we're blogging at a bar
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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