Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
