Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
