Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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