i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
