i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
