i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
