well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
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If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
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My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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