i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
