yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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