dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
