I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
