Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
