I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We had to coat check the pizza.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
