8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
