Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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