I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
