too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
