Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
