what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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