so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
