i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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