There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
