i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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