living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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