So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
