So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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