return my video game
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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